Cooperative Bedtimes?
March 24, 2009
tracyliebmann
Tags: Bedtime, consensual living, creative problem solving, new ideas, parenting
Reader’s Question…
Submitted on 2009/03/24 at 2:29pm
Hi Tracy! Do you have any ideas for cooperative bedtimes? We are Homeschoolers and my kids are night owls. Their creative juices are flowing just when mom and dad are ready for bed. It just works better for the family as a whole if they would go to bed earlier.
Thank you!
Tracy’s Answer…
Well, this IS a tricky one! Bedtime is often a source of disharmony in a family, which tends to be exaggerated by people being tired. If you have a goal of living consensually(www.consensual-living.com) you are wanting to respect every persons needs as being equally important. That being said; I would talk with every family member to see what each person needs.
For example…you ask your husband what he needs surrounding bedtime and he answers, “I want to go to bed around 10pm and I want it to be quiet in the house.” Then you ask the kids and they say,” I want to stay up until I finish this or that or watch XYZ and that is around midnight.” Next, you have to check in with Self…don’t forget to ask your Self what YOU need 
You are feeling flexible about time, but what you need is peace. Your goal is that everyone is happy and quiet, because you know your Husband will not be happy if things are loud and out of control. So now you have located the needs, next step is creative problem solving which means you should come up with some ideas of how to make all this happen, and ask the rest of the family for suggestions also.
You are feeling flexible about time, but what you need is peace. Your goal is that everyone is happy and quiet, because you know your Husband will not be happy if things are loud and out of control. So now you have located the needs, next step is creative problem solving which means you should come up with some ideas of how to make all this happen, and ask the rest of the family for suggestions also.My Ideas are…buy your husband a happy day gift, a sound machine or a small fan for the room he sleeps in, maybe even move his room to be in the back of the house or where ever he would be the furthest away from the noise of the children’s creative juices 
Talk to the kids about the needs of your Husband and yourself, ask them for suggestions, maybe they could play in their rooms with the door closed or down in the basement or rec room.
Talk to the kids about the needs of your Husband and yourself, ask them for suggestions, maybe they could play in their rooms with the door closed or down in the basement or rec room.I am not one to give 1,2,3 magic type answers, I am much more about looking for creative solutions that will work for everyone. Often children have GREAT ideas, because they are not limited by their “old tapes”. Please comment back if you want to give me more info, then I may be able to give you a more specific answer. Thanks for the great question and remember to stay open to new ideas!
Entry Filed under: Bedtime
Leave a Reply
Trackback this post | Subscribe to comments via RSS Feed
